


Come Back to Me

by PrinceBishi



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Or at least as compliant as I could be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 00:39:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9296579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceBishi/pseuds/PrinceBishi
Summary: How did Cassian know how to help Bodhi back on Jedha?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, so this is my first fic on this site. It's a short one, something I wondered about after seeing the movie. In any case, enjoy! Please be aware, the description of dissociation is based on my own experiences with it, and should not be taken as valid for everyone.

On some level, he knew where he was. The rough sandstone, the metal door sealed shut, the voices of rebels as they gambled and celebrated, the sound of another door sinking into the rock next door to his. He heard and saw it all, but it barely made an impact against his mind. There, he was just… Existing. Barely. The thinnest tether tied him still to this body.

There were voices and movement next to him. “Who’s the one in the next cell?” “An Imperial pilot.” “What?” “I’m going to kill him!” There was a pressure on his neck. “No, wait! Back off! Back off.” The pressure was gone as suddenly as it appeared, and still he floated above it all, hearing but never quite understanding. 

A face appeared in the hole that separated the two cells. Thin and angular, tanned skin, scruffy but with a well kept mustache and patch under his bottom lip. Brown eyes. The eyes were what kept his attention. “Are you the pilot?” the face said, voice urgent and lightly accented. He stared at him, uncomprehending. The brown eyes softened slightly. “Hey, hey.” The voice was lower, less pressuring. “Are you the pilot? The shuttle pilot?”

His brow furrowed. Something pulsed in his mind, something he was supposed to remember, supposed to do… The world was becoming less fuzzy, the rocks underneath him harder. “Pilot?” he murmured, his mouth dry.

“What’s wrong with him?” The same gruff voice that had grabbed him earlier asked. The face shushed him. Those brown eyes continued to stare at him, coaxing him.

There was a name, suddenly, in his mind. “Galen Erso,” he blurted out without thinking.

“You know that name?” the face asked. It was less of a question, more of a confirmation.

Everything started to flood back at once, and damn if it didn’t hurt. His breathing hitched in his throat. “I-I brought the message, I’m the pilot,” he said, his mind suddenly spinning. “I’m the pilot, I’m the pilot.”

“Okay, good,” the face nodded. “Take a breath. Focus on me.” Brown eyes never left his. “Can you tell me your name?”

His body shook slightly, and it took a moment for him gather his thoughts enough to focus. “Bodhi. Bodhi Rook.” He licked his lips, and his hands ran over the rough edges of the rocks. “I’m Bodhi Rook.”

“Alright, Bodhi. You’re doing good.” The other man’s lips twitched slightly at the corners. “I’m Cassian. I’m with the Alliance. I need you to answer a question, can you do that?”

Bodhi nodded, running a hand over his eyes. He felt exhausted, his body sore and muscles in knots where he had tensed up. But he was back here, and not floating outside his body. Not mad. How the hell was he back?

“Now,” Cassian said, his voice serious. “Where is Galen Erso?”

~~~~~~

There hadn’t been much time for conversation after that. Nor had Cassian come off as someone who would want to talk more. On some level, Bodhi was afraid of him. He was somber and serious and even more unpredictable than Baze, who at least had Chirrut to balance him out. After the attack on Eadu, and what had almost occurred, it had seemed that Cassian would be willing to do almost anything for the Alliance. Bodhi couldn’t be sure that he didn’t look at him with some hatred; the Captain kept his emotions hidden. Still, he couldn’t help but think back to Jedha, in Saw’s outpost, and the gentleness in Cassian’s voice then.

Now, on their way back to Yavin 4, it was just the two of them on the flight deck. Kaytoo was recharging, Chirrut and Baze sat in comfortable silence in the bay, and Jyn… Well, after their fight, there was no way she and Cassian could be in the same room with each other. So Cassian was here, with him, staring out the windows at the formless surroundings of hyperspace travel. 

Bodhi kept his gaze on the instruments. There was no real reason to; at this point in hyperspace travel, there wasn’t anything for a pilot to do. It just kept his gaze from focusing on the silent man next to him. It did flicker to Cassian from time to time, even as he tried not to. His body language was tense; he seemed deep in thought. The silence was too much for the pilot. He had to say something.

“So… How’d you do that?” he said, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

Cassian’s head snapped up, looking at him. “I’m sorry?”

“You know… Pull me out of… That funk or whatever. Back on Jedha.” Now it was his turn to stare out the window. “Saw used this… creature, something called a bor gullet, to see if I was lying about Galen and everything. Apparently it had a side effect of making people lose their mind. And unless you’re not really here, I’m pretty sure I’ve still got most of my marbles.” He laughed a bit and glanced at Cassian. He wasn’t laughing. Bodhi’s smile dropped and he looked back out at the stars. Internally, he cursed himself. “Sorry, if I interrupted something, you can just ignore me if you want-“

“I’ve seen something similar happen. With my own men.” Cassian interrupted him. “It’s… Not entirely uncommon in our line of work. So, you eventually just try to help and learn what works and what doesn’t.”

Dread filled Bodhi’s stomach. “It can… Keep happening?”

Cassian’s lips pressed together slightly, and he nodded. “In my experience, more often than not, yeah.”

“Why?”

He gave a long sigh. “I dunno. I’m not a doctor or anything. Some of the med bots, they say it’s a reaction to traumatic events. Your mind is trying to protect itself, so it pulls away from what’s real.”

That was exactly how it had felt. Being removed from reality. Bodhi nodded slightly. “So, then, has it happened to you?”

The silence that followed felt like a thousand g’s weighing down on him. He cursed himself again. There was no way in hell the stoic captain was going to answer such a personal question, especially to a man he might think still would betray him. He shouldn’t have asked, stupid, stupid, stupid…

“A couple of times, yeah.” Bodhi looked over at Cassian, shocked out of his thoughts. Cassian shrugged. “I dunno. I try not to think about it to much.”

Bodhi couldn’t take his eyes off the man. For a moment, he could see that same softness he remembered back on Jedha. But there was also this vulnerability, this fear, this hint of shame hidden behind his brown eyes that kept their focus on the young pilot. Almost as if looking away would just admit further what he was feeling. 

Bodhi spun his chair to fully face Cassian. “Teach me.”

“Huh?” Cassian’s brows screwed together in surprise.

“Teach me how you help someone when that happens. If both of us know, then if… When it happens again, we can help each other. You know?” Bodhi hated the idea that it could happen again at all, or that other people might feel it. But, if they had each other to get through it… Perhaps it wouldn’t be terrible. Not good, but not as lonely and frightening and utterly painful.

Cassian stared at him for a long time, before nodding. There was a small smile on his lips as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Yeah, alright. Sounds good to me.”

Bodhi smiled.


End file.
